Oars Up

Inside my husband's wedding ring is the inscription Oars Up. It was my way of saying to him, go with the flow. Don't fight it. Let it be...a message of release to him. It might seem like the opposite message for a marriage Instead of raising our oars in the air and coasting downstream, shouldn't we be a rowing team? Shouldn't we be setting our sights on a shared goal and heading towards it? Not for us. For us, marriage is about acceptance. Acceptance of where we are heading. Acceptance of each other as we are.

The knowledge that our lives are akin to riding the rapids of a river is a helpful image for us. We know that sometimes we are racing with a fast and strong current and other times we are practically resting in a gentle pooling eddy. For us, it's the only way. This is not to say that we don't sometimes put the oars down and attempt to row. Sometimes this is even in the opposite direction of each other or of the river. We are fighting the current and swimming upstream. Eventually, we look at each other and laugh. We aren't resting in the arms of the river...of life or God. All of our effort is in vain and we never make any progress while we are backtracking. Eventually, we realize our fruitless efforts are impeding us. We look at each other and embrace. We clasp hands and head down the rapids. It may be scary, but we have each other, so we'll be alright.