Streaming Thoughts

Lately my thoughts are racing. I posted on my other blog about being unsure if I might be suffering from bipolar mood disorder. If I am, it's giving me new energy. Today, I was in a board room with my boss and three others. Our assignment was to learn a new product, come up with some talking points about it and develop a voice mail script for generating interest for this product with executives at large corporations. I walked into the room having taken ten or so minutes to prepare earlier in the day. I started reading my script. Inside my head, the thoughts were streaming. I was talking...A lot. I was "adding value" as they say in the biz, but I just couldn't help but wonder, where are the brakes? What if I need to stop?

It reminds me of when I was an eight-year-old child and we lived at 36 Flax Hill Road in Brookfield, CT. The house is on a monstrous hill. It's so big, I even went back and saw it as an adult and it was still steep and huge. That hill was responsible for stealing my first adult tooth. I sledded into a big boulder and knocked out my left front tooth. Anyhow, the speeding thoughts and energy remind of the way it felt to sit on a skateboard and ride down that driveway. The vibrating pavement jarred my teeth. My hands clutched, white knuckled at the board. My feet stuck straight out. I often had no shoes on, no gloves, no way to stop. I am sure there were many scraped heels and palms, but I don't remember any of that. I only remember that feeling of flying down the hill and the accompanying elation. It was an amazing high, but similar to today, I found myself thinking, where are the brakes and what if I need to stop?