Leading From Behind

In the consulting world there is a concept called leading from behind. The premise is that if I can make you aware of the problem and the proper solution, but you feel like you came up with it all on your own, then you will continue to want me around. A good consultant doesn't boss you, they encourage you and lead you from behind...without you realizing you are being led.

A good parent does the same thing. They lead their young child to make decisions in their best interest.

Maybe you would rather read this book, then play with that light socket.

Maybe I will just put this broccoli here on your tray and not put any other food down...if it's the only choice, maybe it will be chosen.

My grandmother once uttered a line that has become famous in our family. She was about ready to blow up in my two-year-old sister, Ashley's, face. She was about to break the cardinal rule and ORDER a two-year-old to, FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-PETE-SHUT-UP. So, she began..."Ashley...WOULD YOU..." and caught herself and sang in a timorous voice while wielding a spatula, "Ashley eat the toast, Grandmommy cook the egg. Ashley eat the toast, Grandmommy cook the egg. Ashley eat the..." You get the picture. Out frustration was born a moment in family history. The fmaily now says, if you are stressed and look like you are going to burst, "looks like you are 'cooking the egg' again!" OR "She looked like she 'cooked one too many eggs.'"

This picture debunks my theory. This child is not being led from behind, but she is doing the leading. At six months, she is in charge and extends one confident finger to prove it. Is it possible that our babies ALWAYS lead from behind? Have I had it wrong all these years? Who really is the one in control?